Love

Have I ever loved anyone or anything that I didn’t consider part of me.

Is that even possible.

Is love a feeling, an action, a belief, or a deceptive but highly successful biological function? What about duty? Is duty a kind of love? Is it a duty to ourselves and others? Is responsibility, commitment and accountability love? Does love require suffering and sacrifice? How much is enough and for how long. What about truth, is truth love?

Is mercy love, is forgiveness love, is pity love?

Is lip on lip, skin on skin, in skin, love,

Is cleaning shit love? Will you clean my shit love?

An expression of?

Is God love? Which God, why, who.

When did we write our gods.

Can you say ‘I know the spirit of love’

Counselor; Comforter; Baptizer; Advocate; Strengthener; Sanctifier;

Spirit of Christ (apparently not the same as the spirit of Christ with a small s) Seven-Fold Spirit of Revelations, the Spirit of Truth, the Spirit of Grace, the Spirit of Mercy and the Spirit of God, of Holiness, of Life…

Are these the facets of love, what kind of love? Of the divine kind? Of idealised love. What does all that look like? In a person I mean.

Can i see it, feel it, eat it.

Will it make me sit up straight, protect me from danger, tell me everything’s alright when it isn’t.

Tell me to let go when i don’t want to. Tell me to connect when I don’t want to. Is surrender love?

Is righteous intention love,

Is love an idea I have, a perception of, a drifting and shifting mood

Like a feather in the wind.

Are we supposed to feel it all the time, or just know it, decide it.

Even when the days drag on and our hearts and souls are numb, and a strangers smile feels better than home.

Is it a feeling I confused with something else along the way. Is it the joining and splitting of cells. Is its loss the cause of all sorrow and fear.

That’s all a part of it, and I hesitate to define it in any concrete terms, in case the temptation to doubt takes what matters from me and devours it, before I’ve understood.

I want to absorb by gnosis, into my psyche. Protect and nurture the flame as the tiny precious thing that expands a nameless eternal self into infinity, and blissfully, mercifully, merges with all the others, all the other nameless selves, as us as we.

We, the one collective conscious thought, coming home.

 

“‘I’ is born into the atomic dust, particles arranged into the cells of living organisms. Matter is our mother. Mater the portal from which I came,from the impersonal to the personal, pushes through the veil of ignorance, as ordained, as is fair, then receives a name, is assigned one of two genders, and dished its lot according to chance of birth, effort and circumstance (the Rawlsian shuffle)

What’s love to me? Christ… Love, as a word and as an idea, is the most subjective concept on the planet.